Rise Up Men of G-d..

Think this song says it all...




Rise up O men of God,
Have done with lesser things.
Give heart and soul and mind and strength,
To serve the King of Kings,
To serve the King of Kings.

Rise up O men of God,
His Kingdom tarries long,
Bring in the day of brotherhood,
And end the night of wrong,
And end the night of wrong.

Rise up O men of God,
The Church for you doth wait.
Send forth to serve the needs of men
In Christ our strength is great,
In Christ our strength is great.

Lift high the Cross of Christ,
Tread where His feet have trod,
As brothers of the Son of Man,
Rise up O men of God,
Rise up O men of God.

Rise up O men of God,
Have done with lesser things.
Give heart and soul and mind and strength,
To serve the King of Kings,
To serve the King of Kings.

swaying to what moves me..

I have been feeling the crunchiness calling me. I have this longing to put on my long ruffled skirt, get out my sandals, put a headband in my hair and sway with the movement of the wind...

I long for home and being busy with the things of motherhood..like nesting only after the baby arrives instead of before.

I love sunshine and mornings where the sun streams in the windows and brightens up the gloom.

I have a sitting area in my dining room where my nursing corner is..I find such peace sitting in my glider nursing my sweety baby and reading devotions or books that uplift my spirit.

I feel a calling and need to make healthy bread..the smell filling up the entire house. And wholesome meals that nourish these beautiful children I have been blessed with.
 
I love to light candles and let the aroma fill my senses. 

Cool dirt on my hands as I plant living things into the soil and pray blessings over each one.

Such beauty surrounds me and touches me deep inside..

It moves me...

Pretender...

 I am a pretender. I pretend..I pretend I feel great. I pretend life is good and I am always happy..when others ask me how I am  I say good or alright when I am not..yes I am a pretender..

When I am weak I pretend to be strong..when I am mad I cover it up with laughter..when I want the whole entire world to go away I shove it deep down inside and go on..

When I don't want to be a mama anymore and am at my last bit of patience I simply ignore it and push it away..I certainly don't allow myself to own it.
 
I am a pretender...

When I don't have it all together I say I do...when I need help I never ask...when my daughter dies or another daughter is sick I plaster a smile on my face and get it done.. .I am strong...I tell myself I need no one...

When I want to scream I don't...
  When I want to run away I don't..
When I need some space I don't take it..
  When I need alone time I feel too guilty to do it...

  Yes, I pretend...

Postpartum Depression

It's not easy for me to admit I am weak or failing or at a loss...I should know better..
After my sweet RuthAnne died I went through a severe depression. At the time I thought it was all just grief but looking back I can see it was severe postpartum depression mixed in with grief, etc.. She was only about a month old when she died so I was still newly pp and everything in my life fell apart!

Since her death I have not felt the same nor been the same. Some of it good and some of it bad..

After my son's birth in  Oct. 2007 I went through some major health issues to do with my pelvis etc.. and it was then during this time that I began to have issues, feelings that I couldn't explain so I ignored them the best I could. After his birth an online friend told me she thought I might have ppd.. I just dismissed it. I am too strong for that!

Thats what I told myself after RuthAnne died too and my body literally begin reacting physically and I couldn't function any longer...it took years to get out of that pit. :(    

So this time maybe I have learned from the past..that I am just human flesh.. that I am weak in and of myself..I can admit my feelings and what I am dealing with and begin to heal and get better more quickly.

So I am not going to pretend anymore. I am going to face ppd head on and deal with it. I am going to be proactive..taking herbs for depression, talking about it and allowing myself down time...

I am going to stay in G-d's word as that helps me the most right now. And take advantage of the good moments like right now..why I am posting this..

Pray for me if you think of it..

Waiting with Expectation

I wait for the Lord, I expectantly wait, and in His word do I hope.~ Psalm 130:5

So much of my life can be summed up in the scripture verse above. Learning to wait on the L-rd in stillness..putting my hope and expectation in Him. Waiting, but not just simply waiting but waiting with expectation!

Putting my hope in Him and not the things of this world that I can see, touch, taste and feel but the things which are beyond comprehension.. things not of this world.
 
Waiting with expectation implies action....
While I wait I continue to live for Him, in His word...finding my hope living there.
  So much of it lives in my heart.. something that is intangible..no words can explain.

Then the day dawns and with it brings the culmination of my waiting and hoping... a work complete for today...and tomorrow begins anew...

 

4-H

My children are doing 4-H for the first time this year..
I think they have done wonderfully on their projects!
Josiah's bookcase..

Zechariah's chest..

Morgan's Challah

Gabby and Quentin didn't get to do their projects this time but next year is their year!

Josiah volunteers every Monday at a horse farm in our area for special needs children..He absolutely loves it!

Morgan & Josiah when we picked him up Monday..

Blessings!!

Multitude Mondays; Thankfulness

131. Black tea with cinnamon creamer

132. hot showers

133. prayer

134. health

135. flowers; they bring such beauty into our lives..

136.  breastfeeding...I love nurturing my babies with my mama's milk..

137. I have always loved coffee cups...so thankful for the many choices...

138. underwear that actually fit and don't do the crawl...

 139. motels..a hideaway for my sweet man and me...

140. love that has grown stronger over the last 15 years...love that will last a lifetime..love that supports and grows..it's an ever changing thing...a love that my heart belongs too..a love thats one of a kind...a love that when I don't see it shows me where to look...a love that is a part of me...

Derailed..

 Since my sweety baby Kian Adley was born I have felt like life has been whizzing by in a great big blur. I would just start to feel like I was gaining ground and then something else would happen.. I begin to see that the enemy was trying to derail me... 
And perhaps for a time he did...

But during these weeks and the trials that have accompanied them still He has been with me speaking into the quiet and into my heart.

He has been laying on my heart the need not to only prepare physically but also spiritually. So often we find that we feel we have to take action and stock up, fill our pantries and cupboards.  Buy in bulk and be prepared for the coming hard times. And these are all good things but if we have neglected our spiritual preparation than we have forgotten the most important part!
 
Our hearts need to be prepared for the coming days. We need to work our spiritual muscles training them for the days ahead.
Looking to the L-rd, seeking Him and learning from Him. We need to find that zealousness we have lost; that fire and let it burn away the fodder in our hearts and lives!
 
We need to be listening to His voice. Listening over the things in life that distract us from the BIG picture..so often we get caught up in such silliness and somehow we let ourselves believe it really matters..

And what is His still small voice speaking to us? For me, it's these words whispered over and over in my ear.....TRUST and OBEY...
Two words that hold so much...When I am worried and afraid...when life seems overwhelming I cling to His command just to trust and obey and I find comfort and that peace which surpasses understanding.

So yes, I was derailed but as I looked up I saw Yeshua's hand held out to me; beckoning me...And when He held my grasp firmly in His the skies cleared, the storms calmed and my little train was firmly back where it belonged...