As we say goodbye to another year we all take some time to look back over the past year and ponder the good, bad & the ugly..
As I look back over 2012 I see much heartache but many blessings also. Isn't that just like the Father to bring sadness with joy? And to teach us through the loss and grief things we needed to learn.
My year in review...
January 2012 I found out I was pg. My dh and I were both ecstatic; through the roof with excitement. We love children and each new pg thrills us to our toes!
Sadly though a week after the positive hpt (home pregnancy test) I miscarried the baby. As you can imagine we were crushed. This m/c hit me very hard. I laid in bed each night and cried and cried. It seemed the tears would never end. My dh would wake to my tears and reach for me, holding me as I cried..
I couldn't face anyone and so I quit the bible study my children and I were attending and begin to stay home alot.. It was the right decision for me as it helped me to deal with the loss in my own way. My dh and I did a Mikvah ceremony and rededicated my womb and body to the Father..It was beautiful and gave me much needed peace.
In March I again had a postive hpt but that same day started my cycle and the hpt went negative..This is what they refer to as a chemical pg..although I was sad, because it came and went so quickly I was able to get through it much easier.
In May I became pg again and although the 1st trimester I was worried and afraid I was so excited and hopeful. In Sept. we found out our new baby blessing was a girl! Our first dd in 7 yrs!! We feel so blessed! And now? Well, this precious baby girl is due later this month and we are anxiously awaiting her arrival!! She is much wished for, longed for & prayed for!
In July, after just beginning our search 4 days before, we found a home in the country where we can have animals and begin to live a more simple, self sustaining lifestyle. August 1st we moved into our new home..It's been amazing living here! In October we ordered chicks and began the adventure of raising chickens. This past month we put them out into the coops that everyone in the family worked hard to get ready. Our little homestead is coming along! We are learning alot as we go and enjoying every minute of it!
Also in September my parents came to visit for the first time. They got to see our new home and have a wonderful visit with the kiddos. We had such a great time with them and can't wait until they come again!
In late Sept. we received a call letting us know my sweet love's mama passed away. We quickly had to make travel plans to Mansfield, MA. We decided to go by bus, just my dh, myself and our baby boy. Although it was a sad time we also enjoyed getting to visit with family again. We stayed for almost a week and then again headed home by bus. The bus ride was long and very hard on me as I was in my 6th month of pg at the time but I am glad to have been able to be there as a source of comfort for my sweet man.
This year my oldest daughter Morgan-Britney opened her own in home bakery. She has done well with it and we are proud of her!
There were many birthdays in our home and our anniversary. On our anniversary in Feb. we celebrated 17 yrs of marriage. We went to a very beautiful bed and breakfast cottage in Abilene Tx where we stayed for the weekend. We had a wonderful time being with each other, seeing more of Texas and remembering the many years behind us.
April I turned another year older and so did my son Josiah. He turned 16 and is very much a young man now!
In May Micah turned 10 & KianAdley turned 2. June brought Zechariah's 15th birthday.
July my dh celebrated another year.. Quentin turned 12 in September and we celebrated his birthday with friends and family.
ZaraLayna is now 7; Oct. 4. Gabreillia turned 14 on Oct. 24 and JaidenNoah 5, on Oct 25th.
In November Isaac turned 9 and Morgan-Britney is now 21; Dec. 16.
I also spent much of my year working towards getting the LLL group here in our city going. We had our first meeting in Jan. Later in the summer months I decided to retire. Through all that happened that brought me to that place Father has taught me much about forgiveness and hurt. It's still something I am working through but I have come along ways. I have now made decisions regarding my future involving breastfeeding and childbirth. I have learned that regardless of what other people do or say Father has given me the experiences in my life and the knowledge I have to help women be empowered. I almost quit and gave up but Father has helped me to see I have a place in that world. He has given it to me.. and I am so thankful!!
In the upcoming New Year there is one theme that resonates in my mind. And that is working towards having a closer relationship with the Father. It not easy but it's definitely worth it as so many things in life that we have to work for are. I want to be more like Him, to learn more of His word and to know Him better. I want to take any areas of my life that I compromise and seek Teshuva (repentance). To give them over to Him and to walk out of sin into His waiting arms.
I keep hearing this verse in my mind:
Matthew 16:26 What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?
If I do all to gain popularity, friends and live so that no one will be angry at me, having gained the world but having lost my soul; what do I have? I am left with nothing of any value..I am left without Yeshua, my Saviour, and life with Him.
It is so easy to fall into that trap and I am constantly having to bring myself back. Reevaluating why I am doing what I am doing. And asking Father to lead me into all truth.
Yes, my hope for 2013 is that I will be a mighty woman warrior for my king!
And the other? That I will have a healthy, robust baby and wonderful God-honoring birth that He gets all the glory for!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
