It's not easy for me to admit I am weak or failing or at a loss...I should know better..
After my sweet RuthAnne died I went through a severe depression. At the time I thought it was all just grief but looking back I can see it was severe postpartum depression mixed in with grief, etc.. She was only about a month old when she died so I was still newly pp and everything in my life fell apart!
Since her death I have not felt the same nor been the same. Some of it good and some of it bad..
After my son's birth in Oct. 2007 I went through some major health issues to do with my pelvis etc.. and it was then during this time that I began to have issues, feelings that I couldn't explain so I ignored them the best I could. After his birth an online friend told me she thought I might have ppd.. I just dismissed it. I am too strong for that!
Thats what I told myself after RuthAnne died too and my body literally begin reacting physically and I couldn't function any longer...it took years to get out of that pit. :(
So this time maybe I have learned from the past..that I am just human flesh.. that I am weak in and of myself..I can admit my feelings and what I am dealing with and begin to heal and get better more quickly.
So I am not going to pretend anymore. I am going to face ppd head on and deal with it. I am going to be proactive..taking herbs for depression, talking about it and allowing myself down time...
I am going to stay in G-d's word as that helps me the most right now. And take advantage of the good moments like right now..why I am posting this..
Pray for me if you think of it..
