He sings over us!

Sweet girl put on such a brave face. They took many pictures of her bowels and tummy to see if she had an obstruction or sphincter issues. 

I softly prayed over her and reminded her Yeshua was with her. "Right there!" she said as she pointed at the space right next to me. 

A little surprise caught us all off guard. In her tummy was a nail. When asked how the nail got in her tummy she smartly replied, "I don't know. I do not eat nails!" 

While she lay on the table during the procedure I sang little made up songs to her teasing her, "Z, the nail eater..silliest girl I know...." 

They believe it will pass on it's own. Relief!

I put my brave face on also. I felt my own eyes tearing up. I really hate seeing any of my children have to go through tests and discomfort. And these days I cry over split milk-literally. I was able to reign in the seemingly never ending tears and whisper encouraging words to my girl!

And as reward for being such a brave girl I got her french toast sticks! Yum!! 

Just like my sweet girl we also worry and are afraid. Although her tests weren't painful or complicated she was afraid. They were BIG to her...the worries and fears. To us, the trials and struggles in life are BIG...

As I held her hand, prayed, sang and whispered encouragement to her so the Father does for us!! In Zephaniah 3:17 it says .......

  The Lord your God in your midst, The Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing."



I hold on to these promises. They are water for my thirsty soul! We never walk alone and without hope. He is with us; singing over us with joy! 


   

Admitting Postpartum Depression

This happened in my life...not because I asked for it, worked for it, desired it or chose it. It just happened.

Postpartum depression isn't something that happens to a select few. It isn't in your genes or your fault. It just happens sometimes. It can happen to you and it can happen to me.

In fact it did, happen to me that is...

It's been a hard thing to admit. A hard thing to discuss or tell anyone about. I had to get to one of my lowest points to finally reach the place where I could tell others and admit it to myself.

I've never been any good at admitting my weakness's. The places where I fail..

You mean I have postpartum depression? Me?

I had to stand in the mirror and point my finger at the woman reflecting back at me. Yes, you!

I had to seek the Father in prayer and tell my love. I had to change some areas of my life and keep my ears open to His voice and leading.

I have had to take new steps and let go of the guilt. Ugly word!

And it's still hard to admit to new people Father places in my path...

I know I need to go to the Therapist but I delay to make that appointment because I struggle with bearing my heart to her. I'm afraid to show her how messy my mind is..  how vulnerable I feel.

Do I have good times? yep! And good days! But my bad times are so rough and so chaotic...

There is that flatness and layer of sadness under it all. That's what I want to be rid of!

If you see a woman hand in hand with the Light that would be me. I am learning to always keep my hand lightly in His and at times of greatest need I hold on tightly..

Step by step. Moment by moment. Grace by grace.