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KianAdley's Birthday!!

Today 2 yrs ago my baby boy KianAdley was born! HAPPY BIRTHDAY my precious one!

Kian Adley's birth story!!

This pregnancy certainly did stretch my faith. I struggled with alot of fear which began from the m/c I had in March of 2009. Then it took me the longest it has to date to become pg again. I had finally started to think maybe I might not have anymore. I just wasn't used to it taking as long as it did. But, the L-rd in His wisdom gave me a bigger space; 2 1/2 years and time for my body to heal from my last birth. Looking back I see His timing is best. We don't always see that at the time.. hindsight is 20/20...

 Also with this pg I could not get a sense as to what gender baby was. His heartbeat was high like a girl's the whole time. See, now that's why they say heart rates are an old wives tale! :) And I carried him all out front like I have with previous pregnancies where it was a girl. The whole pg it was a mystery to me! 

 Around 36 weeks or so the L-rd gave me a dream in which I had given birth and it was a boy. In this dream I was very upset and I began to cry..I was sad it was a boy and wanted a girl. I woke up and was so shocked at the attitude in my heart! I then begin to cry and to pray. When my dh woke up I told him of the dream and we talked a bit about it. After he had left for work I went right to prayer and gave these feelings to the L-rd, repented and surrendered to whatever He had for me.  The L-rd had through this dream shown me the true attitude of my heart. I am so thankful for the G-d I serve and that He made me see the truth of my heart...
I still had no feeling if baby was a girl or boy but in the back of my mind I was assuming a boy..and I was truly happy! It no longer mattered; girl or boy...I had been given what I prayed for! A precious new life! 

40 weeks came and went and after having so many pg's and never going beyond 4 days late; 40 weeks 4 days; I assumed I would go around this time with this pg also. I was wrong! Each day dragged on and on! I begin to wonder what was wrong? Why was baby not coming. I had an u/s date and cycle date all accurate...
At 41 weeks we tried castor oil and it did nothing. My dh was checking my cervix and found that I was at least dilated to a 4 and effaced. I was feeling so impatient and again my faith was being stretched...this was something new to me. I continually had to keep my focus on the L-rd by staying in the word and in prayer. 
The weekend of my 42nd week arrived so at 41 weeks 6 days I again tried castor oil and it did nothing. I also tried herbs and my dh stripped my membranes. I was then dilated to a 6 and effaced. And still nothing happened! 
With this birth and again it being an unassisted birth my belief about birth and faith in my body was challenged. I kept asking myself if my body had forgotten how to birth? My asked my friends and my dh... I struggled with thoughts of going 43-44 weeks or longer and how would I handle that. I came up with a plan to induce at a hospital if I went beyond 43 weeks. Then after prayer and time spent in the word I decided not to do that and to trust the Creator who had created my body and formed this child within. I was referred to an article on how labor starts when baby's lungs are ready for outside the womb. This just further cemented what I felt the L-rd telling me; to wait and trust.. to take it one day at a time. This was my lesson learned on Saturday and Sunday may 15-16th...little did I know that the L-rd had planned my birth for the early morning hours on Monday...
 I had to learn new things that are possible with post date babies such as meconium staining of the amniotic fluid....I also had to prepare myself for a big baby...I knew that since baby was late he would be big and had to reaffirm within myself that my body could birth an even bigger baby then my last at 10lbs 5oz.. because of that birth I knew I could do it...  

 Sunday May 16, 2010 I spent the day with my family at a state park. I needed some time out not thinking about when I would have the baby or any other thing involving the birth. We walked one of the easier trails and checked out an old schoolhouse. We let the kiddos play at the playground area and saw the lake where swimming was allowed. We had a very nice day together! :)
During the day I noticed my braxton hicks ctx had changed...They were still braxton hicks but with them I noticed more pressure..I told my dh and he said to me that things would happen in G-d's timing and not my own...  
 I continued to have the braxton hicks ctx thruout the day...they weren't true ctx just more practice so when I went to bed I had no inclination I would be in labor very soon! The thought had crossed my mind but I had given up by this point in trying to guess the day or hour!
Sometime in the early morning hours I woke up thinking I had just had a true ctx but as I was groggy and sleepy I wasn't sure but I did have to potty so I got up. I then discovered I had diarrhea. UGH! :( It was then though that I remembered that with some ladies and some labors diarrhea can be a sign of early labor. 
 I went back to bed and while laying there I had a hard ctx..a true in labor one...then nothing...I then went to the bathroom again and  when wiping I noticed a bit of pink. I then begin to pray and ask the L-rd to let me have some bloody show which for me never appears until I am truly in labor and on my way to giving birth very soon. My dh would be up soon and I needed to tell him to stay home or go to work. Also my oldest son Josiah was headed to the horse farm. I didn't want them to be gone if I was in labor. Especially since my dh's place of employment is 30 minutes from home..and the horse farm 45 minutes...   
 Again I went back to the couch and tried to rest. While resting I had a very strong ctx and shortly thereafter my son Josiah was up. I asked him to please get his daddy. It was then I told John I was in labor and that he and Josiah should stay home. I again headed to the bathroom. I spent alot of time in there because of the diarrhea but it was with this bathroom trip I saw the bloody show; bright red.. It was time!     
 This labor was such a nice labor...if labor can be referred to as nice...yes the labor was painful but my ctx never were every 2 minutes..They would come in this pattern...easier one...then a minute or two later another easier one and then maybe within 3-4 minutes a very hard one. After the appearance of the bloody show all the following ctx were transition and pushing. And all in total from this point I had maybe 10 hard ones and then short easy ones here and there.. 
 I laid on my bed thru the ctx in between my bathroom trips. At about an hour and a half into my labor I knew it was time to push but I decided I wasn't ready and so for the next 30 minutes and the few pushing ctx I had I just worked through them allowing my uterus to push baby down. At some point I headed downstairs to get in the pool a


nd begin pushing but the water wasn't warm enough. My dh was boiling water in big pots on the stove to heat it up for me. During the ctx I would lean over our living room couch and sway my hips back and forth which helped tremendously with the pain. I had about 3 ctx and decided to lightly push with the next one. I leaned over the couch and in a standing position begin to push a bit. When the ctx was over I headed again to the bathroom on the way telling my dh I had pushed a bit with my last ctx. I also asked my dh to lay plastic down by the couch incase I ended up having baby there. 
After going potty I headed back to the couch and the living room and decided to begin pushing. The children were all upstairs and my dh was in the kitchen heating water. I again went through a ctx pushing in a standing position and felt him move down even more into my pelvis. It was then I squatted and started seriously pushing. I pushed and felt his head crowning. I stopped pushing and reached down to feel his head. His head was about half way out at that point and I felt his head full of hair. 
I then started pushing again and out came his head. I waited for that relief you feel when baby's head is born but it never came so I begin pushing the rest of his body out. In my squatting position my bum was just inches off the floor so I birthed the baby right onto the floor. It was right as baby slid out onto the floor that I heard my dh pour the pot of boiling water into the pool. As soon as baby was born I called out to my dh saying, "baby! baby!" My dh came over and picked Kian Adley up off the floor and then wrapped him in towels and receiving blankets. I then was so weak and shaky I had to sit so I just sat on the plastic where I had birthed him and spent the next hour and a half drinking in the sight of my new baby and resting. The other children came down to meet Kian Adley about 30 minutes after the birth. My oldest son Josiah (14) cut his cord when it had turned white. Within 15 minutes of the birth my placenta came and my dh checked it over for tears and missing pieces. It looked healthy and complete! 
 We all were in shock when we weighed our new little man! I knew he would be big but I sure wasn't expecting him to be that big!!! :) 
 Also during the birth we noticed some meconium staining of the amniotic fluid. Kian Adley did have a little bit of trouble after birth but we suctioned him really good and kept his feet elevated above his head. We listened to heart tones which were good and breath sounds.. We kept an eye on his color and made sure he was pinking up which he did. It took him a little bit longer but we just kept an eye on him. He did great! He also had almost no vernix except a little bit on his head. His skin is peeling on his hands and feet. All signs of a post dates baby. 
 
 I am so thankful that he is here! I am thankful for the new lessons I learned about birth and my faith. I was challenged in new ways and hope that I changed because of it. 
 Welcome to the world Kian Adley 11lbs 3oz...born at home unassisted after 1 hour 50min. of labor....my 4th VBAC and 6th unassisted birth!!
Birth Works!!!          







       

Birthday and those questions.

Today my twins RuthAnne Michelle & Micah Earl were born 10 yrs ago. RuthAnne celebrates her birthday in glory while Micah celebrates his here with us. We are so thankful he is here with us! He is a sweet boy, full of mischief and lots of character! He sees beauty in the things of this world. He is a smart boy too!

Happy Birthday Micah Earl!!
**************************************************
A note for clarification: Please don't think I am in anyway not thankful for every one of my children. I am! I do have a large quiverfull. I know some have none. I wasn't speaking of only myself below with my questions. I was speaking of all of us out there that have these questions. All of us that struggle with those same questions below and many not even listed. I am being real. These are true and honest emotions. I am getting too old to pretend. I think once you hit your mid 30's you stop playing games and learn to just be real.  
(And what you don't know is that I just finished reading Choosing To SEE by Mary Beth Chapman and brought afresh the emotions I went through when I lost my sweet baby girl)

All day today I have had questions running through my mind...
Why do some of us lose children?
Why do some people have babies so easily and never struggle with pregnancy?
Why do some people seem to get so much goodness and others so much loss and heartache..

I don't know that my questions will ever receive an answer. And I won't pretend I don't feel anger about all of it but still I serve my Father. I have to trust that He sees the whole picture.

That's hard some days..some days like today I am just plain old mad. Mad for those of us who struggle and experience loss and broken dreams..

Father can handle my questions and my anger. I can be mad. I can scream and yell and allow my emotions. At the end of it all I come back to the cross, where we find mercy..
I come back to the promise He gave us in His word. He will be with us even in tribulation and trial. He has overcome the world..

Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:16

"These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world." John 16:33

3 Musketeer Crochet

My children love to crochet and they want to offer their creations to you!

The 3 Musketeers are Micah 9, Quentin 11, & Gabriellia 13.

Each item is handmade with loving care. They are offering to you little girl's purses, doll pillows, and children's hats.
Small sized purses are 4.00$ plus shipping
Larger purses 7.00$ plus shipping
Doll pillows 5.00$ plus shipping
Children's hats 5.00$ plus shipping..

Take a peek at some of their creations..

 A perfect purse for the girl on the go!

 A pocket inside to hold her precious treasures.

 Our cutie patootie ZaraLayna is ready to hit the town with her fashionable purse.

 A small sized purse for the very young girl.

 ZaraLayna in her snazzy hat. This hat was made by Gabriellia for her friend Sophie. It even has Sophie's initials crocheted on it! She will never be mistaken for someone else!

Wouldn't your little one look gorgeous in one of these adorable hats???

Order yours NOW!

My children

I watched my 4 yr. old pedal with hands and feet on an Amtryke donated by Ambucs. I listened to him tell me all day with his limited vocabulary, "I so happy!" And then with pure delight he would clap his hands. How precious this is to me. I get so very few emotions from him. These moments I file away.

I heard a cute little voice coming from the dining room. My baby boy KianAdley who will be 2 next month was telling me something very important. It was baby talk but said with such intensity. I love hearing him! I love each new word he says! He has such character, this baby!

Even when hearing bickering between the children there is joy. When they mend fences and again realize they really do like each other.

My 13 yr. old again breaks down with emotions and feelings she doesn't understand;  I look at her and see the woman she is growing into. How fast the years have went by.

The struggling son comes to me to share this and that. I turn and listen with eyes on his. While he talks I treasure the moment and each word.

Oh! How I remember to hug. Stopping to tell my blessings that I love them. I wrap my arms around them in pure rapture. Sweetness is swept up and off the ground. He giggles. Charmer loves hugs too although he blushes and blinks those eyes that have such long lashes.

Funny girl? Did I remember to really listen? She has alot to say and with such flair. Her hands and arms fly with her words. Such expression.. I don't want to miss a word.

Beauty is all grown up. She is achieving goals and going after what she wants. Still she seeks my advice, my encouragement. Her eyes on me searching.. Did I tell her I love her today? Does she know how proud I am of her? That she is smart, beautiful, kind, loving..I ask her, "how did she get so smart anyway? "I learned it from my mama", she says! How she brings happiness and laughter into my life.

The boy walks with victory. He fights hard. I am so proud. I enjoy his company. I love to listen to him. We talk often of muscles and exercise..I smile when I see his pride in those muscles forming on his young body. He is becoming a man. A good and Godly man.

Red is so quiet. So intelligent and sweet. As tears streamed down my face he jumped up and hugged me, "mama I love you." You melt my heart son. He is like a balm to my weary soul.

Such life! Such hope! Such blessing!
Thank You Father for my children. I see promise and redemption when I see them. Who is this woman with 11 children? I changed and I didn't even realize..Life so full!      




  



 

El Roi

Been a hard week here. It's at times like this I cry out, "Father, what do you want from me? What I am to do now? " I listen in the silence for an answer. That voice in the stillness...

I try to rationalize life. Maybe now? Maybe this is why? It was because.. For sure now.....
But rationalizing gets you nowhere. You end up on the same road stuck at the beginning. Your feet haven't moved.

I listen to the stories of old. Of faithful men & women. Comparing their lives to mine. Trying to understand. To find the answers to those questions my heart is full of.

And today I read words that resonate deep within me.......they bounce off the corners of my mind.....ring with Truth.

".......those who limp know how to see." (Ann Voskamp- One Thousand Gifts)

Those with wounds can truly see. We have wrestled with life & pain. We have walked a road riddled with trials.....we limp just as Jacob of old after wrestling with the Father.  But now we can SEE.

Glory.  His name.

And so I continue to ask my questions.....I lay them at the cross where all my answers can be found.  And if I seek Father promises me I will find..  I will find Him.. the Answer.

El Roi ~ The God who sees.....the One Who sees me..    

Homeschooling..

I did have a separate homeschool blog but for time's sake I am going to use LivinginLilliput for daily life and homeschooling. When life is so busy doing those things that save time is a plus. :)

Gabriellia & Quentin have been studying the Pilgrims and Early American History, while Micah is reading Robert Fulton and notebooking each chapter as are Gabby & Quentin.

These 3 are also Lapbooking which they really enjoy. We just finished a Lapbook on Earthquakes & this week began a new one on Rocks & Minerals.

There is always the wonderful sound of music in our home! Zeke, Micah & Josiah are taking lessons to become better equipped to play glorious music that makes its way to the Father's ears!

We also do alot of baking and cooking. My children have days during the week that they cook our supper meal. My younger children love to make goodies and you can often find them in the kitchen working on cookies and the like!

More to come...

Lately..

Alot of things happening in our home. We keep pretty busy!
Here are just a few...

Daddy has been making the kiddos yummy treats on the weekends. He uses jello to make these and then they go in the freezer.

The kiddos LOVE them!!

My oldest dd decided to try a totally new hairstyle. She looks so cute and it will be nice for those hot summer days coming soon.

At my son's speech therapy earlier this week there was a company selling books and I found these! They are awesome!  

I also found a really neat deck of cards at a garage sale. They are giant size!

The kiddos spend many hours playing with them!

Today baby boy was too quiet. I found him with the raisin container. His chubby little arm had gotten stuck when he tried to fish out some raisins.  

I love this sweet cutie pants!