We had planned to stay in IN and to dig our roots deep down. To carve a place for our children & children's children..and then all of those dreams were surrendered to Father. I was/am willing to go where he directs and do as He says. I am willing to do my best to bloom where He has planted me but I can't say it's easy or some days even much fun.
I still spend moments of time in tears for what we left behind. Perhaps that means I am like Lot's wife who looked back longing for what she had left behind or maybe I am just human and frail. A woman who misses her life as it was in IN and those people there who enriched it.
It's dry here in Tx and I can't help but compare that to the dryness I feel down deep in my soul. I am making a concentrated effort to be in the Word and it's as I read that I can feel the Water of Life pouring onto my parched and cracked heart.
Other times the familiar feeling of despair is in the air..
The old familiar poem "Footprints", I picture that in my mind and the Father carrying me through the valley up onto the mountain.
My prayer has become, "Father change my heart towards our new home and circumstances." Do I believe He will? Yes, because thats just Who He is! He is Faithful!
Oh sweetie, I went through that too when I moved to Connecticut in 1999. I was heartbroken but in the end it ended up being the best outcome ever!
ReplyDeleteI've been coming back to that recently...my willingness to surrender and go where the Lord desires me to go. I've given us a "fake" moving date...a goal to get the house purged and get our stuff down to a manageable level.
If the Lord calls us to move then I'll be ready. I want to say I'll be willing and have no 2nd thoughts but honestly I have no idea if I'll be heartbroken again. Does that make sense?
I know you are having a tough time Ambra, but you are doing all the right things by staying in The Word, meeting new people and getting your kids involved in good activities. It is an unusually hot and dry time...it won't always be this way. Think of it as a trial by fire! I love ya girl and I am here for you! I for one am glad you guys are here! It will get better! Keeping you in prayer, friend.
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This is so beautifully written, Ambra...I just loved it! You always encourage me to stay in the Word and to be obedient, even when it's hard and painful. I'm so glad that God brought us together. I miss you terribly!! But your new life there is a testimony and an encouragement...keep hanging on to Abba, He will never let you down!
ReplyDeleteI've been thinking of you a lot. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers, and I hope things turn around for you soon. Love you, dearly lady!
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