I was reading through different articles, blogs, and poems, etc about postpartum depression when I came across a poem that spoke of living in the gray and it just SHOUTED out at me. That's how I feel and it puts into perspective..
a word picture if you will..
I can get up and take care of my children and even be a wife but it's all done while living in the gray.
I feel off..
in a fog, no focus, memory seems so fuzzy,
I lack joy..in being a mother and being a wife..with life..
wanting to be alone and run away and hide..
losing my patience more than normal..
feeling overwhelmed
confused
etc...
Living in the gray...
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ReplyDeleteYes this is exactly what it's like for me too when I have PPD. I still struggle with it though it is way better?
ReplyDeleteare you doing anything physical to help? (I know you are doing lots of praying)
Just remember, it is so easy to run from the pain or push it away.... or even ignore it. Lean INTO the pain. it can be a teach and even a friend to us if we are willing to learn from it. I am always scared the pain or (grey) will eat me alive and I will never get back... but it's part of the depression. it's a lie. you WILL come back from it. and you will not be eaten alive!
I felt a lot like this too, so apathetic. I found it helpful to just think about the next 10 minutes, the next hour, the next day, whatever didn't make you feel overwhelmed.
ReplyDeleteCan you find a support group in your area? Have people to talk to in real life can help.
Praying for you.
I too suffer from PPD. I will be praying for you to get out of the gray! I hope you have a wonderful and blessed day!
ReplyDeleteOh Ambra, PPD...is hard, though it has been many years since I have had it.....you are loved Ambra and seeks Abba's light.... :0) Praying for you!
ReplyDelete