For when we grieve..

Isn't it interesting how we as humans comfort ourselves after a loss or trial..
"It could be worse." "At least it was early on." " There will be others" "It's probably for the best as something could have been wrong."

None of these pithy little sayings do anything to actually help heal the wound left in our hearts. But yet, others and sometimes even those who are going through the loss or trial will try to console themselves this way.

This time of vulnerability seems to leave the door open for others to give advice that most times isn't wanted. And if it is at some point it certainly isn't while the storm is raging.

When mama's lose a baby to m/c early on or later in the pregnancy there are so many emotions swirling in their hearts and so many thoughts in their minds. So many what ifs..
I know in my mind I am asking myself questions, "Did I cause the loss of this baby?" "Was it from the medicine I was on for my teeth?" "Was it the ibuprofen I took which caused a bad implantation?" "Or was the pregnancy doomed from the beginning?" "Was this baby never meant to be" " Why did Father answer my prayer but then take it away so quickly?" "Will there be more babies?" and on they go never stopping.

The best medicine for healing is time.

The best way to help a wounded soul? Simply be willing to listen or just sit. Let them cry when they need to and be angry when they need to.
Hug them and comfort them through touch. Call them and check up on them. Or email.
Don't tell them to get over it in yay so many days. It takes TIME! Not the time on your time table but the time on theirs.
And don't offer advice or little verbal this or that. They don't make it better and most often make it worse.

I have been surprised these last few days. Those I thought would be there aren't and those I did not are. Sometimes during trials & loss we discover more about ourselves and those in our lives. Not all of it good but I imagine it as separating the wheat from the chaff as scripture tells us. This is the picture in my mind..

Here is a link to a list of what to when a parent loses a child through miscarriage, stillbirth or death. For those of you who want to be able to help those in your lives going through this. (thank you Sombra!)
http://guggiedaly.blogspot.com/2012/01/bereaved-parents-wish-list.html?spref=fb&m=1